Dear Clients – I See You, and I’m Right Here with You

Dear clients, if only you knew how much I see you, and how much of myself I see in you. Is it a thing that the universe gives us clients that invite us to face our own unfinished business? For collectively, you, my clients, are all a piece of my own tapestry, my own story, reflecting back my own inner world. As I hold space for you and your stories, my own illuminate alongside yours, and invite me to journey with you.

I never could have imagined that this sacred work of therapy, which is in the moment for you, would have such a profound impact on me.

I didn’t expect to dive into my own stories through yours; to come face to face with my own insecurities, wounds, and dark spaces as you face yours, and to grow even more deeply through and with you. Thank you for sharing yourself with me.

This work of holding space for another is holy, and it is grueling too, for we therapists are human and we are moved and shaped by you. Know that as we ask you to face your past and to confront your wounds, we are called to do the same. We not only see you, but rather, we are right there with you. You mirror for us what we haven’t been able or willing to see; you bring hidden pieces of us into the light, and we come to know ourselves more clearly as you come to know yours.

Thank you for this beautiful gift, dear clients. Thank you for letting us enter your worlds with you so deeply that they illuminate the dark spaces in our own. The human experience is so fascinating in this way; personal, unique, and universal all at once, allowing us to differentiate while also to see ourselves in another.

Dear clients - I so often see myself in you.

I see myself in my clients when they’re bored with life one minute and overwhelmed the next, or when they question whether or not they’re enough, or when they feel so deeply one moment and worry they might be numb the next - we are all so beautifully complex!

I see myself in my clients who no longer trust the image they see in their mirrors; who feel fat, but know that feelings are not always reality. Body image is intertwined with self-image, each informing the other. The she who looks back at me is often thinner than the one who feels fat in her skin, and I do not always know which one to trust. On good days, I trust the thin one, while on really good days — I change the question altogether and focus on the strong, beautiful woman who peers back at me and the body that has carried me through life. On these really good days, I simply but powerfully change the conversation.

I see myself in my divorcing clients who can not even begin to imagine the life of freedom, possibility, and self-discovery that awaits them on the other side, and who allow the fear of the unknown to engulf them. I’ve been there, and I too couldn’t imagine what the other side looked like. I see myself in my newly divorced clients who struggle with letting go — I have been there, and it is so hard. It is such a mindfuck to not be able to protect your kids all the time, I so feel you. I see myself in those clients that can not seem to break the patterns of their failing relationships, and who are stuck in being right. Always remember that you can be right or be in relationship, as my Imago-trained mother always says.

I see myself in those who choose to stay in miserable relationships that no longer serve them for fear of the alternative; how will I date again at my age, what if I don’t meet someone else, what if I’m forever alone?

I get it, I’ve been there, and loneliness can be a bitch, but there is no lonelier feeling than laying next to someone else and feeling alone — of this I am sure.

At least in your own empty bed — personal power is there with you even when no one else is!

I see myself in my clients who doubt their self-worth, as I still often doubt mine. Yes, I have accomplished a lot and I am extremely proud of it, and yet our internal wiring runs deep and is a constant work in progress — I see you, and you are not alone. I see you as you let fear hold you back in life, as I have done many times, and still do. There is so much more I’d like to accomplish if only I could get out of my own way! I feel you. I encourage you to go forth despite your fear, to feel the fear and do it anyway, and as I tell you — I tell myself again too.

I see you as you struggle to make decisions, just as I do, and I invite you to ‘just choose’ as I often tell myself. I am human too, after all.

I see myself in my clients who chase the wrong men (or women), and sabotage relationships as attachment wounds take the steering wheel of their lives and mine. Awareness is only the first step as they say, and action is where it’s all at: we have to keep practicing new ways to see change, and I am right there with you. Anxiously attached, like so many of you, I too have abandonment wounds that show up and cloud my vision. I too have to look for those red flags in the fog and heed the warning. I know it’s hard.

I see myself in my clients who have endured sexual assault and in those who have carried it with them quietly tucked away in a hidden box of sorts. It wasn’t your fault, nor mine, and shame is fucking heavy— set it down my fellow warriors. It was never yours to carry in the first place, but you didn’t know, I get it — neither did I. Let those memories, those triggers, show up in your body, and then let them go. Stand tall and remember, that you are a survivor, and you are not alone. I know that this isn’t a club any one of us wanted to join, but we are collectively in it — and we are not alone.

I see myself in my clients who are trying to conceive and start a family, who have faced loss — I have been there and it hurts like hell, you too are not alone. I see myself in my clients who feel like they just don’t belong be it in their families, in their workplaces, or among friends, like it’s just so hard to fit in. Be your own you — you don’t need to fit in at all, but I get it, and I get you. I see myself in my clients who feel unseen by their friends, their partners, their colleagues, or their families — who just want to be known. You too are not alone — this is more universal than I have ever realized, and I am right there with you — hence my open sharing in this very piece.

I see myself in so many of you; old and current iterations of me reflected in you, and I am grateful. I hope that by sharing myself with you, as you usually share with me, you too feel less alone, for while every one of your stories is unique to you, we all share in this collective and universal experience of being human and in the existential struggles of life. In therapy, we come to know ourselves as we share space and attempt to bridge the gap between where we are and where we wish to be — you in your life, me in mine.

It is in this space between present and future, and in this dance between tension and possibility, that magic is born, and I am honored to be on the dancefloor of discomfort with you. Thank you for showing up and for bringing your whole self. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for feeling safe with me. I hope I make a difference for you, as you make for me.

With deepest gratitude,

Dr. Galit